Seoul, South Korea
Seoul International School
On the dining table, I impregnate
my mouth with peaches as I watch
the laundry bake in the lemon sun
outside. Once it dries, Grandma
irons, wishes she could do the same
to the parchment skin of her palm—
every crease a creation myth untold.
She is crooning again & I wonder
if she misses her childhood spirit.
When Grandma looks at me, she says
horse is bad, horses bad for girls.
Peach-juiced, jaded like trodden
snow. I was born in the year
of the horse: the untamed beast
I am, blind to the taste of hunger.
Horse, tell me how you earned
your haunted face & your eyes
tainted with your bloodline.
Horse, I can’t bear to look at you
so I imagine myself as a rabbit
hiding in the moon’s footprints.
Grandma says that it is a shame
for a girl to be something wilder
than herself, that rabbit
suits me better for a name.
I want to bathe in whiteness
& cake myself in powdered sugar,
magnolia-scented like good girls.
I want to taste what it means to be good.
* Note: Characters, dialogues, places, and events in this piece are the products of the author’s imagination and used in a purely symbolic and fictitious manner. The narrator in the poem is distinct from the author. In real life, Jimin Lee is grateful to have loving and understanding grandparents.
Like the speaker of the poem, I saw something hauntingly human in the “coal-black embers” of the horse’s eyes, and I couldn’t look away. And I was struck by the sense of longing in the speaker’s voice; the longing for acceptance, and the struggle against the heavy burden of conformity.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jimin Lee is a Korean-American writer from Seoul, South Korea. She has been named a 2019 Finalist in Writing (Poetry) by the National YoungArts Foundation and recognized by the Scholastic Art & Writing Awards, The Penn Review, Hollins University, and The Poetry Society. Her works appear in or are forthcoming from Liminality Poetry, The Penn Review, Polyphony Lit, Watershed Review, Crashtest Magazine, The Daphne Review, and elsewhere. Lee is the founder and Editor-In-Chief of The Ideate Review and an alumna of the Iowa Young Writers’ Studio as well as the Kenyon Review Young Writers Workshop. She will be graduating from Seoul International School in May 2020.