Mourning the Death of the English Nerd
- Claire Yang
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
by Ekam Bedi
Artwork by Ekam Bedi
We all have that one kid in our English Class, don’t we? The one who refers to authors as if the two were friends; the ones who read classics like their life depends on it; those who cannot stand incorrect grammar and have words such as ‘quintessentially’ and ‘salient’ in their daily vocabulary.
(Personally, I believe that ‘English Nerds’ are just using their whole identity as a way to cope, maybe because they’re lonely kids and words became their friends, or perhaps that the ‘English Nerd’ identity was one that they hadn’t chosen, rather it had been chosen for them. Anyway, moving on—)
Now that we are well aware of this piece’s subject, let me tell you a wonderful anecdote regarding that very ‘English Nerd’.Â
This isn’t about their antics in class, or that time they were reading The Great Gatsby at lunch and wanted everyone to know it; no.
This is the story about the death of the English nerd.
A PLAIN OLD WEDNESDAY
Obviously, the ‘English Nerd’ was close with the teacher, and on a regular old Wednesday (a week after a big 20-mark test that was 10% of their grade) the results were being announced.
The English nerd was expecting a mundane class where they would get a high grade on the test. They would then answer a tough question in class where everyone would look at them spellbound and in awe. You know, just the usual.
That reality was shattered when the teacher started announcing their marks— 14/20… 12/20… 15/20…Â
They waited, wringing their hands, not in nervousness, but out of habit, until finally it came to the ‘English Nerd’s name. Turns out where they were expecting a 20 or a 19 (the teacher was strict)...
They got— Oh, oh, oh! What? A 14? No, No? No!
Pandemonium. Utter chaos.
They couldn’t believe it; no one in the entire class of 40 students could believe it. The teacher looked at the ‘English Nerd’ with cruel disappointment and something that almost mirrored… heartbreak?Â
It was shocking, it was unexpected, and it was oh-so shameful.
You know that moment, where someone whom people don’t really like has something bad happen to them from their own doing, and then the others talk about it and further degrade the situation and take advantage of it? Yes, dear reader, that’s exactly what happened.
It was the death of the ‘English Nerd’.
Everyone had expected them to cry; another shocking turn of events was that they did not. They bowed their head, couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes, but they didn’t cry.
That night was a long one for the ‘English Nerd’. They contemplated why they cared so much about being embarrassed this way; everyone has an off day after all, right? The relationship between the English nerd and their love for the language was pondered that night, and then the next night, and so on and so forth.
Until eventually, everyone got over it and it was all okay.
This piece, dear reader, was written by me to tell you all to be a little nicer to your local ‘English Nerd’. To perhaps humanize them a little and try to see why they love the language just so much.
External validation always feels good, no matter what, but from that day onwards, the ‘English Nerd’ continued on their path, not with the hopes to impress the others but to have a good time with a subject that they so clearly loved.
THE END